The List

[Mike the bike]

Reminds me of a tale from my schoolteaching days.

A bunch of us were in the habit of playing a couple of hours' five-a-side soccer after school on Wednesdays. Our number included Brian, affectionately known as Shirley, who spent his days attempting to enthuse the unwilling with the delights of English literature. Long past his physical best, Brian was somewhat overweight, even for his lofty height.
After the game the rest of us dressed while Brian remained stubbornly in the shower, enjoying the free hot water and washing his hair. We all sneaked out of the door, heading for the pub, and took Brian's clothes with us. Childish, I know, but what the hell? We were just settling to our pints when the door burst open and there stood our friend, wearing a teenage girl's gymnastics leotard, the only item of clothing in the lost property box.
Words cannot do justice to his appearance, sixteen stones of quivering, goosebumpy flesh shoehorned into the skimpiest nylon garment since Borat's mankini. Totally unconcerned at the reaction of the early evening drinkers, he calmly picked up his drink and swilled half-a-pint down his throat before asking the assembled throng, "What are you lot looking at?"
What a man!

[Paul4]

Totally unconcerned at the reaction of the early evening drinkers, he calmly picked up his drink and swilled half-a-pint down his throat before asking the assembled throng, "What are you lot looking at?"
What a man!

The "assembled throng", is that a typo?

[VLAD (the Friendly Vamp)]

Of course - This thing of a List will only work if you have a list of things not to forget to make before the race - like making a list.
or
F%$k - where did I put that list. - Wife - have you moved that piece of paper off the side ........... Oh that - I threw it away dear.